← Legally Clueless
When Shame Turns Life Into a Performance | For Mannerless Women artwork

When Shame Turns Life Into a Performance | For Mannerless Women

Legally Clueless
01:07:14
Play episode

Show notes

What happens when shame quietly teaches you to perform instead of be? In this episode of For Mannerless Women, Adelle Onyango sits down with Kenyan comedian, activist, and writer Justine Wanda for a deeply honest conversation about shame, identity, adoption, grief, and unlearning survival modes. Justine shares how growing up adopted shaped her sense of belonging, why humour became a shield, and how much of her early life, from school to university, was spent performing to avoid being questioned or exposed. She reflects on the slow breaking of that performance, and the relief that came with realising that everyone is carrying their own invisible struggles. This episode explores: How shame can turn your entire life into a performanceUsing humour as protection and survivalIdentity after adoption and lossNavigating grief, belonging, and chosen familyLetting go of who you had to be to surviveLearning to be seen without performingThis is a conversation for women who have ever felt like they had to be funny, fine, or palatable to be accepted, and for anyone learning how to extend grace to themselves while becoming. If this episode resonates, share it with a mannerless woman who needs the reminder that her truth doesn’t need to be edited to be worthy. 🔗 Links & Resources Newsletter signup: www.legallycluelessafrica.com/ Instagram: www.instagram.com/legallycluelessafrica/ TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@legallycluelessafrica YouTube: www.youtube.com/c/LegallyCluelessYoutube Story submission form: forms.gle/kMn7Wae5N563JFGQ8

More from this show

More
  1. Your 40s Are For Living, Not Proving Yourself | For Mannerless Women Live

    FOR MANNERLESS WOMEN LIVE | ACT 2: OUR 40s; EXPANSION What if your 40s weren't about achieving more, proving yourself or meeting everyone else's expectations, but finally giving yo…

    55:26
  2. Stop Demanding A Harvest From Your Planting Season | Mid Week Tease

    Are you being too hard on yourself because your life isn't moving as quickly as you'd hoped? There are three seasons we experience in life: planting, nurturing and reaping. But som…

    31:42
  3. She Lost Her Parents, Her Home & Had to Fight to Survive PART 2 | Legally Clueless Ep 401

    She Lost Her Parents, Her Home & Had to Fight to Survive Part 2 What happens when survival means making choices you never imagined you'd have to make? In Part 2 of Daughtie's story…

    41:23
  4. Your 30s Are For Becoming, Not Explaining Yourself | For Mannerless Women Live

    Welcome to the very first For Mannerless Women Live! We're kicking off our journey through the decades of womanhood with Act 1: Becoming; Our 30s. What happens when you stop defin…

    44:25
  5. The Problem With Women Who Say "Could Never Be Me" | Mid Week Tease

    "Could never be me!" How often have you heard women say this when another woman shares her experience of heartbreak, betrayal, or a harmful relationship? But what if this response…

    27:05
  6. She Lost Her Parents, Her Home & Had to Fight to Survive | Legally Clueless Ep 400

    She Lost Her Parents, Her Home & Had to Fight to Survive | Daughtie's Story (Part 1) What happens when the people who are supposed to protect you become the very people who hurt y…

    47:03
Now Playing